the older I get…

the more I realize just how much I am going to struggle with growing old gracefully.

Now the truth is, I'm not actually that old yet. But it feels like it when I look around and see my former students raising their beautiful babies... and my own kiddo is married and the potential of my grandmotherhood isn't that far off. That's ridiculous to even say outloud!

But I'm not old. Even though my conversations with friends often touch on our ailments. And perimenopause. And the thought of exercising now means that I have to do active stretching and warmups so that I don't hurt myself when I lift my arms above my head...or when I sneeze.

I'm still young. I have no major worries. Except that our healthcare system is broken and so is our government. Also, the foster care system could use some work and public education needs some healthy changes. And then there are the FDA, GMOs, chemtrails, and the conspiracy theories that aren't as conspiracy as we thought....

But I still feel young at heart. Even though my patience level has lessened now that we have two pre-teenish boys in our family and I cannot handle the amount of bickering, dirty socks, lack of listening, trash just left everywhere that is happening around this place. And WHY CAN'T WE HANG UP OUR TOWELS CORRECTLY?!

When I was younger, I looked at some of the older people in my life and wondered why they were irritated all the time. Why did so many of them tend to be critical or unhappy. And why did they not think before they spoke? Was that just a skill that they had lost? Did they really just not care about anyone at all anymore?

But now that I am in that somewhat "older" category, I'm beginning to understand. The older I get, the more I know. And the more I know, the more I understand just how ugly this world can be. And that these bodies don't stay young forever (seriously?! I have to change my readers to the next prescription again?!) And also, the filter does start to fall apart because I get tired of the amount of irritants and garbage in life and if everyone could just leave me alone for 24 hours, I might be a nicer person!!

Every time I find myself getting frustrated or irritated, it is a great reminder that I am still a work in progress and I always will be. It sets me back in my place of humility where I should be constantly living. It reminds me to look for the good, the silver linings,

and to rev up my gratitude.

And it shows me that in order for me to age gracefully, I need to extend more grace. I suppose I can't really show grace to someone when I'm wearing my angry eyebrows, can I?